Insurance Accident Statements

These are all true statements found on insurance accident forms, describing the accident in as few words as possible:

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3. I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glancing at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I ran into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up , obstructing my vision, and I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving for forty years then I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12. I was on my way to the hospital with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
21. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
22. The telephone pole was approachig. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
23. I saw a slow moving, sad-faced, old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.