Sven and Olie, if you didn't know, are two Norweigan Minnesotans who find a way to say the oddest things or get in the strangest situations. Enjoy!
When Ole quit farming and moved into town, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in the whole city of Catholics. It was okay, but the neighbors had to put up with his barbecuing beef every Friday night in his back yard. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, and this aroma coming across their yards got the best of them, they decided to do something to stop this. So they banded together and went over to talk to Ole.
They sez, "Ole, since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town, and there's not Lutheran churches for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the Priest, and they arranged for him to become a Catholic.
The big day came and Ole was called to the front of the church to become a member. The Priest had him kneel, he put his hand on Ole's head and said "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now." he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "Now you are a Catholic!"
Ole was happy and the neighbors were all happy ---until the following Friday evening came, supper time, sure enough there was the aroma of grilled beef again coming from Ole's yard. They dcided to talk to Ole about his problem. As they approched his yard they heard him saying, "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef," and as he sprinkled salt over the steak, he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!"
Sven and Ole worked together, and both were laid off, so off they went tothe unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.
When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained: Panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor.
"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on, Sven pulls on it and says, "Yep, diesel fitter."